You Have an Ugly Friend!!!

I know it's been a minute since I've written a blog post but I'm back like 45.  I've been dealing with life but enjoying the moments I can. One of those moments was at a hibachi grill the past weekend with a group of friends. We were talking and a subject came up that is near and dear to my heart...the "I don't have any ugly friends" comment. 

Now, this particular young lady actually doesn't have any ugly friends (her real friends, not acquaintances or weekend only let's go out friends). But instantly I rolled my eyes because this is one of the biggest lies that most women tell, right along with "I don't care what we eat" and "Nothing is wrong with me, my attitude just instantly changed for no reason" (insert every man sighing loudly). Women cannot or refuse to admit that one or two of their friends are ugly. 

It's simply amazing. Women can judge a beauty model for the tiniest things like makeup choice and hair. Then turn around and post on Instagram "whole team of dimes" but when you look at the pic, there in the midst of it all is Kong. Or Caesar. Or Mr. Ed. Or Big Foot. You get my point. Or maybe you don't. Let me make this crystal clear. 


And before you go to storm my castle and get on me let me address your two main arguments now:

  1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - yeah yeah yeah I hear you. But you know damn well most of the beholders of these eyes think your friend is ugly. This is the friend that no one really buys them a drink at the club. When you try to hook them up with a male friend of yours, you don't describe they physical appearance first. You say things like "she has a sweetheart, she's very successful in her career, she's an excellent cook" and your homeboy keep saying "yeah that's all good but what she look like". And I'm not talking about funny looking. I'm talking about "7 out of 10 would say 'Issa no for me dawg' ugly". 
  2. Your next point would be well who am I to call anyone ugly or they friends cuz you've seen me in person and my friends and we are not all models. Excellent point. But here is the difference. We as boys growing up quickly identify who the ugly guys in the crew are. Hell, I was the ugly guy in the crew until about 20. I was ok with that. You know why? Because instead of lying to myself and each other the guys quickly knew what are gifts were in the crew. The pretty boys got the girls and the ugly guys cracked jokes and entertained them. And the very ugly guys tricked cash. Life is sometimes that simple lol. Don't have your ugly friends on scout duty to pick up men. Have them on refreshments or something. Damn lol. 

Look, I know this post was kinda mean, but the truth hurts sometimes. I don't wanna have another summer with ppl lying to themselves or they friends about the whole team being dimes. No no no. It's some dimes in your crew. But it's also a couple of dirty nickels. Spread love and not lies lol.