Holiday Blues is Real
Christmas time is here! The season of family, gift giving, eating big momma Mac and cheese with a to go plate, the NBA games and the delicious eggnog (don't you dare slander eggnog...it's good...debate your drunk uncle IDC IDC IDC!). It's a wonderful time and arguably a lot of people favorite time of the year!
Or, if you flip the point of view around, it's a lot of people's least favorite time of the year. The dread over dealing with y'all ignorant and bad ass cousins at the mall, the stress over how these gifts are going to get be purchased (is Arnies strip club hiring for seasonal work?!) and probably the biggest issue of all, the depression of not having the family around that you want to have.
I have a confession: as much of a people person that I am, Christmas is not my favorite time of the year. It's somewhat tough for me but I do what I have to do to keep me upbeat for the most part. I miss my mother terribly around this time. This year more so than others. My immediate family is not huge and we weren't rich growing up, so we never had any emphasis on establishing traditions for the holiday. I see a lot of my friends excited for the holiday and I'll say general answers like: “yeah can't wait for the big day". But secretly I feel guilty, because I'm not happy as others and I don't want my mood to kill their vibe.
I admit all this to say, make sure we check on each other this holiday season. I'm thankful for my friends who have checked on me and notice that i was especially down this year. They have helped me get thru it. What do they do? I'm sure it's not a one size fits all approach but I have noticed this has worked for me:
- Asking me what's wrong but not badgering me for an answer - it's a fine line and some people know how to walk the line better than others. But definitely ask me if I'm ok. But don't keep asking me like I owe you child support for an answer lol.
- Listen without having an immediate solution - when I'm ready to talk, just listen to me. Don't come ready with the "well you should do this..." because chances are it's not just that easy to get out of a funk
- For those of us going thru family loss, just be our shoulder to lean on - even if this means let's just sit in silence but I need your presence, sit at the bar while we drink crown royal and discuss why the Bears freaking suck or whatever...if you have a moment take some time to be there for your friends.
Just a few things I have seen that have worked for myself and other people. If you have more tips leave them in the comments. Most importantly, don't forget those who may need the Christmas cheer the most. They may be right next to you.
Hugs to all those that need them,
Ant P